For your employees who don’t want to “bother people”

I was on the phone with a friend recently when she told me about a disappointing shopping experience. I get a lot of these calls.

She was at her favorite local boutique—a successful business with three locations—with armfuls of clothes and tickets to the US Open that weekend. The sales associate helped carry everything into the fitting room, but that’s where the interaction ended.

“She didn’t ask where I was going or what I was shopping for. Nothing. I could’ve used the help.”

She wanted to buy. She wanted someone’s opinion. She wasn’t looking to be left alone. The associate wasn’t rude or inattentive. She completed the task in front of her, but she missed the opportunity to understand the person standing in front of her.

Founders tell me all the time that their teams are afraid to sell, or afriad to be pushy, or that when they shop they don’t want the help.

I wonder if they’re actually afraid of what they think selling requires them to become: pushy, overbearing, or transactional.

If that’s the case, telling them to “sell more” or “offer more options” isn’t going to fix it.

We need to change the language. Ask your team to get curious.

Where are you going? What brings you out of the house today? What do you do for work? Where do you get your hair done?

The goal isn’t to interrogate every person who walks through the door. It’s to notice when a customer is inviting you into the experience—and know how to respond.

Your friendliest employee may still be missing sales because friendliness and connection aren’t the same thing.

Connection requires curiosity.

And in this case, one simple question could have changed the entire experience.